![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Let me tell you a little story.
Why Kitty Keeps a Paper Bag in her Backpack
(or, How To Make Your Students Hate You)
Once upon a time, there was a little Princess named Kitty. On one unfortunately rainy Thursday, Kitty was supposed to have a Java midterm, for which she stayed up far too late to study things with names like encapsulation and polymorphism. So Kitty frolicked along to 103 Tate Hall, where the midterm was supposedly going to be. "Hello, large group of students who look vaguely familiar enough to probably be my classmates!" she said. "Hello, Kitty!" they said. "There is the ladies' room. Remember all the coffee you drank this morning?" "Oh, yes!" Kitty said. "I should purge myself of that now so I won't regret it in ten minutes!" So Kitty said, and so Kitty did. As she was doing thusly, the dull roar of Students Waiting Nervously in the hall mysteriously disappeared. "Oh, goody," Kitty thought. "The class before us must have been dismissed, and now we are filing into the room in an orderly fashion." But when Kitty came out of the bathroom, the mob of Tums-enriched students was nowhere to be found! She poked her head into room 103. "Hello, Kitty. This is a class on Alternative Families," said the over head projector. "This is not your midterm." "Oh dear," said Kitty, and poked her head into room 102. "Hello, Kitty. This is a teacher's lounge," said the coffee maker. "This is not your midterm." "Oh dear," said Kitty, and chewed on her umbrella while pondering what to do. "WHERE ARE ALL THE PEOPLE?" said a girl in a red shirt who had recently wandered in. "HELL IF I KNOW," said Kitty. "WHERE ARE ALL THE PEOPLE?" said an irate boy with odd hair. "HELL IF WE KNOW," said Kitty and Red Shirt Girl. "Let's frantically scour this very small building while plotting a brutal, inhuman death for Pascal du Pantalon Dorkique!" After determining that the class was indeed nowhere in the very small building, Kitty came to two conclusions. "Either they have been warped into another dimension and are taking this opportunity to bloodily dismember Pascal du PD, in which case I am going to be jealous, or they are back in the engineering building, in which case I am going to be furious. Ikimashou!" "Uh. Hai." So Kitty, Red Shirt Girl, Odd Hair Boy, and Muttering Indian Boy (who had arrived during the frantic scouring) walked in the rain back to the engineering building, still plotting brutally inhuman deaths and breathing into paper bags. There were the No Longer Nervously Waiting Students, with Pascal du PD, who was scrawling some inanity on the board. "Ha ha ha!" said Pascal du PD. "The exam is moved to Tuesday, because they ignored my room reservation." "Ha ha ha!" said the No Longer Nervously Waiting Students. "Ha ha ha!" said Kitty, whose perfume was rising off her in waves of scented steam. "There is this marvelous invention called Post-It Notes which would conveniently adhere to the door of a classroom no longer containing a midterm. Perky Princess Power, make up!" Much to the discomfiture of Pascal du PD, Kitty morphed into Sailorkitty, shot lasers from her eyes, and rendered him a small pile of sparkling ash. "Ha ha ha!" said Sailorkitty. "Ha ha ha!" said the Now Highly Gratified Students, and they all trotted out of the classroom for tea.
The End.
Why Kitty Keeps a Paper Bag in her Backpack
(or, How To Make Your Students Hate You)
Once upon a time, there was a little Princess named Kitty. On one unfortunately rainy Thursday, Kitty was supposed to have a Java midterm, for which she stayed up far too late to study things with names like encapsulation and polymorphism. So Kitty frolicked along to 103 Tate Hall, where the midterm was supposedly going to be. "Hello, large group of students who look vaguely familiar enough to probably be my classmates!" she said. "Hello, Kitty!" they said. "There is the ladies' room. Remember all the coffee you drank this morning?" "Oh, yes!" Kitty said. "I should purge myself of that now so I won't regret it in ten minutes!" So Kitty said, and so Kitty did. As she was doing thusly, the dull roar of Students Waiting Nervously in the hall mysteriously disappeared. "Oh, goody," Kitty thought. "The class before us must have been dismissed, and now we are filing into the room in an orderly fashion." But when Kitty came out of the bathroom, the mob of Tums-enriched students was nowhere to be found! She poked her head into room 103. "Hello, Kitty. This is a class on Alternative Families," said the over head projector. "This is not your midterm." "Oh dear," said Kitty, and poked her head into room 102. "Hello, Kitty. This is a teacher's lounge," said the coffee maker. "This is not your midterm." "Oh dear," said Kitty, and chewed on her umbrella while pondering what to do. "WHERE ARE ALL THE PEOPLE?" said a girl in a red shirt who had recently wandered in. "HELL IF I KNOW," said Kitty. "WHERE ARE ALL THE PEOPLE?" said an irate boy with odd hair. "HELL IF WE KNOW," said Kitty and Red Shirt Girl. "Let's frantically scour this very small building while plotting a brutal, inhuman death for Pascal du Pantalon Dorkique!" After determining that the class was indeed nowhere in the very small building, Kitty came to two conclusions. "Either they have been warped into another dimension and are taking this opportunity to bloodily dismember Pascal du PD, in which case I am going to be jealous, or they are back in the engineering building, in which case I am going to be furious. Ikimashou!" "Uh. Hai." So Kitty, Red Shirt Girl, Odd Hair Boy, and Muttering Indian Boy (who had arrived during the frantic scouring) walked in the rain back to the engineering building, still plotting brutally inhuman deaths and breathing into paper bags. There were the No Longer Nervously Waiting Students, with Pascal du PD, who was scrawling some inanity on the board. "Ha ha ha!" said Pascal du PD. "The exam is moved to Tuesday, because they ignored my room reservation." "Ha ha ha!" said the No Longer Nervously Waiting Students. "Ha ha ha!" said Kitty, whose perfume was rising off her in waves of scented steam. "There is this marvelous invention called Post-It Notes which would conveniently adhere to the door of a classroom no longer containing a midterm. Perky Princess Power, make up!" Much to the discomfiture of Pascal du PD, Kitty morphed into Sailorkitty, shot lasers from her eyes, and rendered him a small pile of sparkling ash. "Ha ha ha!" said Sailorkitty. "Ha ha ha!" said the Now Highly Gratified Students, and they all trotted out of the classroom for tea.
The End.