kitsplut

Being awake now offends every fiber of my being.

I had weird dreams all night. I dreamed I was dreaming about going to church, which is something I haven't done since I was thirteen, after which I dreamed that I was Sailormoon (again), followed by this whole weird thing between Venus and Mars they're all right tonight, and another one where I dreamed I was MARY THE DUCK and I was hiding in a closet from Xelloss-sama, but then I was me, and there were all these French guys damn you, Pascal, and I made one of them buy Mom really expensive shoes so I could borrow them, because he was having an affair with her but hitting on me, and I was going to blackmail him.

Noooow I am going to have a headache all day. more coffee.

shine shine.

Other events of earth-shattering importance which I neglected to mention previously -

I fell on the ice on the way to class yesterday and put a hole in my jeans, so my mommy is going to buy me a new pair tomorrow. Right now, I'm down to two, and one is evil GIRL PANTS that mock me by unzipping themselves at inopportune moments, which is no doubt why I have a tendency to leave my shirts untucked.

I knocked my ringholder over last night, and one of my amethyst rings somehow managed to chip a big piece out of itself. I am saddened, but mother said we can prly get the stone replaced. I hope so. That was the one she bought me in place of a class ring, as I loathed high school, and before she started overcompensating for things by buying me a plethora of jewelry which I usually break or lose.

That's all.

WHEE my mother made it here alive, even though the 3.5 hour trip took her SEVEN. I was alarmed. It's sooo gross out, though; she tried to take me to Olive Garden, but all the nice restaurants are closed for weather, so we're going tomorrow. We ended up at a nice, empty Pizza Hut, because my poor stomach rebels at the idea of even one more burrito from Taco Bell.

My beautiful baby car. I had to literally DIG it out, because there was snow all over it and around it and under it, and the ice on the back window was so hideously thick. It's such a darling, though; I almost got it stuck in snow three or four times on the way, and it was just like "dammit, mom" and worked itself out. love love love love. Love for starting, love for moving, love for not running into a truck, love for parking on top of another pile of snow. sigh.

My mother who loves me brought me a bag of food. TWO variety packs of instant coffee, a box of green tea, a twelve-pack of Coke, a box of peaches oatmeal, a bag of CHOCOLATE TRUFFLES *die*, chocolate Teddy Grahams, and a pound of M&Ms. The last, I assume, being a flashback to her own college days, because she told me once how she ate a whole pound bag in one sitting without realizing it while studying for something.

It is 10:34, and I would have to be asleep right now to get eight hours. sigh. I'm hoping to make it by 12:30 and get six. I have more than enough coffee to last me the week.

Now I must go try to learn about contraction and expansion of the money supply so I can not flunk my final in....twelve hours.

Shine, world.

It has been a rather long few days, and it is going to be an excruciatingly long week. I have a final tomorrow, one Friday, a web page due Sunday, two finals Monday, and one Wednesday. All but one are comprehensive. If I don't update much, I'm asleep on my textbooks.

oh well. Mother comes tonight, and she will entertain me between fits of hysteria.

Punker and I are going home next Thursday morning. whee.

It snows. I am not very amused with this. I dislike to walk in it.

I slept until 9:30. It was nice. I have to get up at six thirty tomorrow, because our Java presentation is at 9:30, my econ final is at 10:30, and I need a little time to study...crap. I bet I'm supposed to buy a blue book, aren't I. vomit. Those offend me inexplicably.

Now I have little WHITE pills to make me a Perky Princess.

Chatting with my sibling is far more amusing than our real-life interaction. "I think that you're going to have a hard time explaining to Dad that you need a new computer because your old one turned into Xelloss and is currently feeding off your classmates." *tee hee...hee...hehehehehehheheheheeMWAHAHAHAHA*

*drool*

*cough*

um. ANYWAY....

I should go see if that woman is done cleaning the bathroom yet, so I can have my shower, go eat lunch, and start in on the econ for real this time. sigh. Everyone shine for me.

My fridge contains twelve cans of Coke, a two-month-old jar of grape jelly, and a cup full of condiment packets which I somehow felt compelled to squirrel away. My rutilated quartz power beads are frozen to the bottom of the freezer. After I've eaten all the food in there, I will get the hair dryer and attempt to set them free.

I have to go see Blonde Michelle today. She's prly going to be mad at me, because I missed my appointment on Friday. I thought the one today was supposed to be instead of that one, not in addition to it.

I'm sure I'll have something snarky to say about it later.

I should write a letter to my non-taser grandma. Dad's mother. She is going to be ninety in March, dislikes my mother, tells me I'm her favorite, and thinks I hate her. I don't hate her. I just become discouraged when she runs to Daddydear with everything I tell her, twisting it to make me look like the bitch from hell. I really don't remember her being so psychotic when I was younger. I would say she's getting senile, but she's remarkably coherent and prly picks up on more than I think she does. I just don't know what to say to her anymore that won't lead to Dad blowing a gasket.

I definitely get to go see that boy, but I need not to think about it until I'm home. I have enough to occupy myself with over the next couple weeks without having premature hissy fits about my hair.

oh hell. Today is Add Sheet Day. Hello, machine gun men. There are two machine gun women this year, too. I feel really bad that they have to stand out there in the cold, waving ads at college students who consider them a lower form of life than one-celled amoeba, but not bad enough to fill my backpack with coupons for fake-baking and oil changes.

My backpack is full enough as is. I wondered where all my pencils went, and I found twelve in the bottom yesterday. Maybe I will be lucky, and one will have lead in it.

It snowed a little bit. I am no end thrilled.

this from my aunt a while back:

> Here is your amusement for the day:
> Call National Discount Brokers
> 1. Dial 1-800-888-3999
> 2. Listen to all of the recorded options
> 3. Pay attention to option 7.
> 4. Hit 7
> Every Company should have an option 7

I finally got around to it, and I think I have to go bury my head in the sand now.

I am far too amused with this.

Things on this list I would name a kid: Victoria, Coralie, Sabrina, Tabitha, Eva, Ardelia, Lucinda, Sibyl, Clarissa, Julianna, Alexandra. Some of these are just really frightening. Others hold enough personal amusement for me that I'll be snickering all night.

Kitty ranked 987th most popular in the country. Princess is 1349. Precious is 1413. Sparkle is 3762.

I have not done CRAP today. I got back from class at one and have sat here on my butt pretty much since then. Michelle the Much-to-be-Pitied called and left a message, but I didn't call her back. I checked my mail after dinner, noted a new message for an evilpookie meeting today dated six hours before, and didn't bother to open it. that ulcer can wait. WHY do they persist in not letting me know until a few hours before. I do not check my school mail twelve times a day.

oh. fucking. well.

I watched The Wedding Singer and was neither amused nor disgusted. Then I cried for a while because I got spoiled to human companionship while I was home and don't have anyone to play with now and because there are blonde girls in the hall and because there's nothing on TV.

Seven more class days. Twelve days until Mom comes. Nineteen days until I go home again and can be entertained. I almost called my mother, but now it's 12:20, so I had prly better not.

I intended to do a lot of work today, but I was waiting until the boys went to anime club, and then they didn't go, so, um, yeah.

I should go get a glass of water or something.

I have not yet begun my three-page psych paper due tomorrow. I let Jen next door borrow my notebook yesterday morning, because I am not awake enough for that class to make connections between notes and papers, and need to retrieve it before I can really do anything. I also need to read at least one chapter of econ and work on that damn Java some more.

I think the dead triplet is sucking away my life force in another attempt to gather enough energy to incarnate.

instantiate?

I think I am an abstract cosmic class.

If I ever give birth, it will be to the dead triplet. Once she has enough energy, she will spark into life inside me. After she has completed her preparations, she will come out as a baby and then do a kind of Chibiusa/Black Lady transformation sequence thing, and then we're all doomed.

Um. Or maybe she is going to incubate inside Punkie. ovaries and pitchforks do not mix.

I am quite happy with my new toothbrush.

one Coke two Coke red Coke blue Coke. I have fifty cans of diet Coke in my room. two in the fridge, and four twelve-packs next to it. Pray that it lasts three weeks.

I GO HOME THREE WEEKS FROM TODAY.

Mom comes two weeks from today for some accounting thingie. she is staying for three nights. That Friday night, she is staying with ME. goody for bonding time. oh well. she will buy me food.

like I need to eat MORE.

I am having thoughts right now that I would really like to express in here, but I am having a very hard time thinking of a way to phrase them that is not going to offend several people who may or may not read this.

ah, fuck it.

FANFIC IS WEIRD AND I DO NOT WANT TO WRITE IT, READ IT, HEAR ABOUT IT, OR THINK ABOUT IT. VIDEO GAMES ARE WEIRD, AND I REFUSE TO PLAY THEM. ROLEPLAYING IS WEIRD AND FOR PEOPLE WHO CANNOT DELUDE THEMSELVES INTO THINKING THEY HAVE A REAL LIFE. WHY, WHY, WHY AM I SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE WHO ARE OBSESSED WITH THINGS THAT BORE ME TO TEARS, CONFUSE ME UTTERLY, OR MAKE ME WANT TO POKE MY EYES OUT WITH STICKS. WHYYYYY. *tears hair* *rends clothing* *gnaws leg* *slams head into wall* *slam* *slam* *slam*

...sorry. I have to do that every so often. It bubbles to the surface when I'm too tired/stressed/cranky/misunderstood to humor/support/ignore eighty percent of the people I know. I am glad they have things to make them happy, but it's like if all your friends are into Precious Moments dolls and it makes you want to vomit. Most of the time it doesn't matter, but sometimes, it's just like...yeeeeesh.

oh well. if I were interested in anything at all, I could make friends interested in the same things, and this mini-rant would be obsolete.

I must go see if Jen is in. shine.

I suppose I should update this damn thing.

I am back at school. malheureusement. Today I have to do all the homework due this week that I managed to avoid last week. sigh. I suck. Seventeen days until my mother comes. Twenty-three days until I go home again. That's not so long. Seven more econ and Russian lectures. Five more evilpookie and Java lectures. bleah bleah bleah bleah.

let's see. What did I do over break.

Saturday - lay around and watched movies. ate like a pink piglet.

Sunday - lay around and watched more movies. ate like a pink piglet's mother.

Monday - I have absolutely no memory of Monday.

Tuesday - went to my grandma's with my mother and listened to my five-week old baby cousin Barbie Kira scream for hours.

Wednesday - lay under the dining room table being depressed until my stupid heart won out over my stupid brain and I decided to go pick that boy up after all. spent the rest of the day hosing down the basement and trying to clean up the hellhole that was my room after thirteen weeks of my absence.

Thursday - went to my grandma's, listened to Kira scream, ate food. ate more food. glomped on my aunt. glomped on my other aunt. glomped on my mother. ate like a pink piglet's mother's mother.

Friday - went far away to Overland Park to pick up that boy. was mildly traumatized by his family. took him to my grandma's to hear the baby scream, only to find her miraculously silent for the entire two hours. ate food. tried to make him eat food. was chewed on by my grandma, two aunts, and an uncle because HE WOULDN'T EAT FOOD. was terribly amused by my whole family and my uncle's friend Scott. That boy may recover from the experience someday. went home. ate pizza. became suddenly and inexplicably exhausted. watched brat and her weird friend Blue make madness with his external burner that he brought over. stayed up until 3:15 burning CDs.

Saturday - woke up at 7:30 because I was sleeping upstairs on the sofa bed and my dad was putzing around in the kitchen. went downstairs to sleep on the couch and ended up burning more atrocities. let that boy sleep until I got bored. pounced. painted his toenails. eventually my mother and I took him back to his aunt's. was further traumatized by his family, but prly deserved it. stopped by my grandma's again on the way home. Kira screamed the whole time. damn kid. did laundry. packed.

Sunday - woke up at 11:19. ate food. packed. bought a car kit for my Discman after not getting around to it for three years. ate more food. sneaked Coke and food into the car. picked up Punkie and left at 3:30. sat in traffic for too long. got back, fed the car, fed our faces, fed the economy at Wal Mart, came back, watched the network go boom, ironed shirts.

whee.

My aunt finally removed the part of an Exotic Princess sticker off the Bitchmobile's back window, and I put a new one on today. IT IS SPARKLY.

Other sources of amusement: new pink toothbrush with oddly slanted bristles that make my gums bleed hurt, and new pink hairbrush with nice plastic bristles with round things on the end that will not wind up pushed completely out of shape and rendered ineffective within a week like the boar bristle ones I had been buying for years.

I have not checked my school mail for a week and am terrified there will be something about evilpookie.

I am not feeling particularly amusing at the moment, so I will leave this for later and attempt to be productive now that I have finished my lunch. shine.

Tomorrow is happy Going Home Day. We went out and fed the Bitchmobile [gah. BitchMOBILE, not BitchWAGON. Dad gets to drive THAT godawful thing] and bought sticky glitter snot hands and heard the voice of God at Wal Mart. This happens more often than one might expect.

I don't know how often I'll update at home. a couple times, at least. I intend to enjoy Saturday and Sunday offline anyway. While they are all gone, upstairs becomes my domain, and I need to roll around on the carpet and rub against the furniture to re-mark it with my scent. And shed on everything on which it will show up nicely, and push gum wrappers between all the cushions, drink up all the milk, and shred tissues all over the living room floor to express some discontent at being abandoned upon re-entry. Then, when they return, I will bite ankles and steal food off Mom's plate while refusing to eat my own dinner.

This is partially why I refuse to reproduce. If I had a daughter like me, I'd wring her little neck.

Actually, we would either be like Usagi and Chibiusa, or we would be inseparable and gang up on that boy.

heh. Mom and I swing back and forth.

It was Thanksgiving dinner in the dining halls. I ate enough stuffing, yams, corn, and cheesecake and pie to destroy me. Note to self: When tummy is upset, it does not want more food crammed into it.

I feel really bad for the poor blonde intern. I was so mooned out when I went to see her yesterday that I didn't want to talk about anything real and risk knocking myself out of Princess mode. I feel like this is all going to be a waste of her time, because I can't seem to get myself across to her, and Goddess knows getting me to talk about anything is like pulling teeth out of goldfish anyway. I have to try, but I don't know what I want from her. I don't know what I want from anyone, least of all myself. I want her to tell me what I want, and she won't do it. She shouldn't do it, but I still want her to someone, anyone, please.

I was going to get up early and make ONE MORE FUTILE ATTEMPT at my graduation check, but I think I am going to let myself sleep and see if he is making REAL appointments after break instead of FAKE, WALK-IN ones.

Administration is of the devil. Frankie D. Minor sits on my lip when I pout and sits on my shoulder and tells me to kill.

maybe I will spit up more later if I don't go to bed. Everyone shine.