not with a bang, but a whimper

Dad decided he was too old to be driving a stick shift and so has purchased a new vehicle. Thus I am soon to come into possession of Jank-Ass Hand-Me-Down #2: Honda Edition. It is a 2004 Accord and not something I would have chosen for myself even when new, but I will take it for "free" (I suspect it needs a good amount of brake work and probably tires and also detailed 3x because omg filth). This, however, means I will have to dispose of Baby, the long-suffering, dearly beloved 1995 Saturn they gave me to take to college in 1998 and that I have been driving since then (literally half my life). THIS IS A PROBLEM. It runs fine but also needs brake work and is slowly but steadily rusting out underneath. But I am super hung up on it and it basically symbolizes my youth and if Dad hadn't sold the farm years ago I would just park it there and mound dirt over it and eventually it would sprout plants with buds that look like little shift knobs.

THEY AUCTION DONATED CARS. HOW CAN I SEND BABY TO AUCTION. What reward is that for twenty years of service. But the me that is cheap frugal enough to drive a beat-up Saturn to 230,000 miles cannot quite bring herself to pay storage costs either. There is no winning here.

I can't think about this and not cry, which is like the epitome of middle class white girl first world problems: oh no you drove your free car into the ground here look daddy will give you another to finish off. but seriously I am having irrational drama queen issues. My family is hopeless at best and toxic at worst, and most of my friends are not fully present, but Baby has been more loyal to me than I have to myself and I guess I just hate to let go of the only thing I've ever thought loved me no strings attached, inanimate object or not. It is like the Velveteen Rabbit and has become Real.