quirkytizzy: (Default)
[personal profile] quirkytizzy
Hmmm, I want to watch something fun and comforting. Let's hit up what's on Netflix Kid's.

*scroll*

I haven't watched Anastasia in forever. That might be nice. Oh hey, I've never seen Disney's Hercules, and the Nostalgia Chick loves it, so maybe I'll watch that.

*scroll*

Hey, they even have Nightmare Before OMFG GREMLINS IS ON THERE WHY IS GREMLINS ON THE KID LIST HOLY FUCK I AM GONNA HAVE NIGHTMARES JUST FROM THE THUMBNAIL FUUUCK!!!!

*decide on Hercules*

I seriously need some James Wood's voice acting to wipe away the horror of fucking Stripe Gremlin popping up on my screen. WHY IS IT ON THE KIDS LIST?!!!

What The Incredi-Fuck?

Sep. 22nd, 2017 12:04 am
disgruntledgirl: (Chair Leg Of Truth)
[personal profile] disgruntledgirl
On multiple occasions over the span of weeks, the official Twitter account for Equifax responded to customer inquiries by apparently directing them to a fake phishing site.

This is from NPR. After a cyberattack that potentially exposed the personal information of 143 million people, the credit reporting agency Equifax set up www.equifaxsecurity2017.com, a website to help people determine whether they had been affected.

However, on multiple occasions over the span of weeks, the company's official Twitter account responded to customer inquiries by apparently directing them to a fake phishing site called www.securityequifax2017.com.


Luckily, the fake site — blocked or flagged by many Internet browsers, was taken down Wednesday afternoon.

Now there's this tidbit:
"The site was build by Nick Sweeting to educate people rather than steal their information. A banner on the top read: "Cybersecurity Incident & Important Consumer Information Which Is Totally Fake, Why Did Equifax Use A Domain That's So Easily Impersonated By Phishing Sites?""



This is a huge article.

Wednesday: Basic Instructions

Sep. 21st, 2017 12:36 am
disgruntledgirl: Taken from one of my many yahoo accts, which all mirror part of me. (Default)
[personal profile] disgruntledgirl


Nothing is less manly than worrying about whether what you’re doing is manly or not. Picture Clint Eastwood worrying about if what he’s doing is “manly.” I can’t. The man became famous wearing a poncho, and playing a character called “Blondie.” He didn’t worry about if it looked manly. He recognized that he made it look manly by being the one doing it.

John Wayne, on the other hand, did worry about looking manly. He once Gave Kirk Douglas a hard time about playing “effeminate weaklings.” To be fair, that might have been the mental fallout from growing up with the name Marion.
- Scott Meyers


I've had a heck of a day. I have no idea what I've accomplished with insurance. I was told I was accepted, then I was told they could get it cheaper for me but Kevin would be nearly double - it still falls under $1000 a month but I'm staring at 4 rejection letters 3 from one insurance company and 1 from the insurance company I thought I WAS dealing with. Now somehow in all of this, I've managed to reapply.
This is what I get for handling a chiro bill and optometrist visit (whoops - are you sure you can't leave us your glasses? No.) at the same time while a friend talks to me about a potential job and needs my resume.
Why did everything have to happen in those 30 minutes? I had all goddamned day.


Last night, we caught Perturbator in concert. It was great! I'd write more but I'm freezing for some reason. I hope I didn't catch some concert crude.

(no subject)

Sep. 20th, 2017 01:46 pm
becomingkate: (Default)
[personal profile] becomingkate

I feel like this font is abnormally big. Maybe it will autocorrect when I post it.

Classes (oh, now the font is smaller, lol) are interesting. I think I have already talked about most of them. I was ready to cry in Astronomy. I just couldn't wrap my head around the concept of the star sky rotating and eclipses and such. One of our assignments is actually a blog where you can communicate with the professor. So for me, with a confrontation issue, that is fantastic. I wrote my blog and mentioned I was confused. He said sometimes it can take weeks to really understand it. And not to toot my own horn but I am kind of grasping the idea that I'm smarter than the average college student. So I have to be patient. It made me think about my son and how he expects to understand everything right away and that made me smile and relax a little. I hope that by keeping in touch with the instructor he'll go easy on me. I'm not doing so great on the quizzes and labs yet so I hope he sees I'm trying.

Speaking of my son, he didn't pack a lunch today and I am a mean mom and none of his friends like me. I laughed. "I don't care if 10-year-olds like me," I told him. We were trying to get out the door and he asked me to make a sandwich for him. I said no, you can make your own. He was all ready besides that and we technically had lots of time. It isn't my fault he lies in bed for half an hour when his alarm goes off and then wants me to make his sandwich so he can get to school 25 minutes early and play with his friends before class. Right? We had plenty of time for him to make a sandwich. I said, some kids your age already know how to make a whole hot meal and you can't make a PB&J?  So he thought he hurt my feelings by saying his friends don't like me. To be honest, it does make me sad because I wanted to be "that mom" that kids like. But oh well. I can't wait until he tries to tell someone besides his friends that his mom is mean because she won't make his lunch for him when he's 10 years old.

It's partially my fault. I should have been teaching him how to cook since he was old enough to stand up. But by the time I started, he wasn't interested. I take for granted that I'm a good cook. It doesn't occur to me that it might be hard for some people.

Our 13th anniversary was a few days ago. It went okay, except I had class in the morning and evening, and it was the day after my mom's memorial party finally happened, so I was pretty wiped out. My husband took our anniversary off, so we went out to lunch and that was nice. He got me a pair of citrine earrings which are pretty but I don't have much that matches them because they're orange and I don't tend to wear yellow or orange. I think I have some red tops somewhere. I got him some coasters in the design of The Maze from Westworld. He didn't recognize the pattern when he opened them, so I had to explain it. LOL.

Mom's party went well. I call it a party because it really was. It was just a gathering at a restaurant/function room with passed canapes and then a pasta station where they made a plate to order for you. And of course a bar. People brought photos and there were tables to sit at and talk and eat. My mom's side of the family has a wry, sometimes morbid sense of humor. They have no problem making little jabs at people. There were a lot of comments of things like "Well, she sure did know what she wanted," in other words she was opinionated and wasn't afraid to tell you if she thought your opinion was stupid. So there was a lot of humor, good food and some people I hadn't seen in decades. My son was good-natured, especially for not knowing 90% of the people there. My dad and his wife came, and I felt bad that I didn't get to talk to them hardly at all because I was pulled aside by so many people. It was successful overall though.

 

Grace

Sep. 19th, 2017 09:14 pm
quirkytizzy: (Default)
[personal profile] quirkytizzy
The day to day is so mild as of late, I have to reach for things other than the daily grind to write about. I miss writing. I miss hitting just that space when I feel my own power, where the words twist like blown glass under my hands.

Inspiration is not a requirement to write. I tell myself this isn't the first lull I've hit with writing - and it will not be the last. It's nice to have the lull emanating from a place of calm. I also feel just the slightest of guilt, as if I am ignoring something. Hard to know if you're "taking a break" or "procrastinating."

I know eventually something will break and I'll be back to the keyboard with typing possessed. I'm not so far out of the woods as to think it will be smooth sailing forever. Not only is that not my luck (there's no "tragedy limit" for me and my life), but that's life in general. At least for me. In this quiet time, I'm settling to accept that.

There's been quite a bit of thought around that idea lately. That for whatever reason - karma, fate, the cold, cold hand of an uncaring Universe - my life will be a battle. Where most people have years and years of calm broken by events of crisis, mine is the absolute opposite. My calm waters are the punctuating events, not the rule that leads from year to year.

But in these glass seas, I can come to appreciate that. It's not so easy to be grateful when the ground cracks beneath you and sends you scrambling for an overhanging rock to keep you from plunging into the earth, but here, now, I can be grateful.

Maybe accepting my life as it has been (and for how it will be) is grace.

I can't bring myself to believe that there is some being out there that guides my hand and heart through the hard times. I can't bring myself to believe that I, as I was born and as I live, am deserving of some kind of divine benevolence. But I can take these quiet moments and reflect on my life, the things that brought me here and the things that propel me further.

I can take these quiet moments and think of things I might be able to believe.

I can take these moments of quiet and comb through the answers that I asked all of you to give me about ritual, about belief, and find ways to bring it back to grace. To an acceptance - a true acceptance, one not borne out of exhaustion - and continue to learn to love the Teressa that comes out of the other side of that acceptance.

This last year has been so hard. Hard in ways that I've never struggled with before. I do not believe there is some cosmic prize at the end of this finish line. I do not get the girl, I do not win the lottery, I do not get a Happily-Ever-After. Maybe no one does.

But I do get to learn just a little more about myself.

A great deal of what I've discovered over the last year has not been pretty. A huge chunk of what's been revealed about me has, in fact, been horrifying and shameful. But I am beginning to realize that there is no such thing as having too detailed a map about your inner self - craggy cliffs and raging torrents included. I know myself, in sickness and health, in ways that I never have before.

To learn those things as positives, as things to learn from...if I have any definition of "grace" that I can believe in, that is it.

Quick little makeup post...

Sep. 19th, 2017 04:53 pm
hippie_chick: (Default)
[personal profile] hippie_chick
So many review videos up on You Tube about Rihanna's new Fenty Beauty makeup line! I have not tried anything, I'm not really a huge RIhanna fan. But I will say I'm impressed beyond impressed to see that she has 40 foundation shades to choose from! That, indeed, is how a launch SHOULD be done! You have lightest to the darkest so there's something in there for any skin tone. Most of the reviews say the foundation is really nice too. Pretty doable price point as well.

Way to go, Fenty Beauty!

(no subject)

Sep. 17th, 2017 12:05 am
quirkytizzy: (Default)
[personal profile] quirkytizzy
It is storming. Heavily, heavenly, beautifully. It is the first storm this year I have been home for.

Every time it has stormed this year, EVERY. GODDAMN. TIME. I have been stuck behind the soundproof wall of triple-paned hospital glass, hanging six stories above in the psych ward. I couldn't hear the thunder, could not open the window to hear the rain falling, could not smell the ozone of lightning strikes, could not feel the thunder rattling the floor under my feet.

I can now. The window is flung wide, Nature rebels, and I am home to revel in it.

Sweet, sweet sanity.

Sweet, sweet freedom.

Friday: Build Your Own Demotivator

Sep. 15th, 2017 11:44 am
disgruntledgirl: Taken from one of my many yahoo accts, which all mirror part of me. (Default)
[personal profile] disgruntledgirl


Making a joke in 2017
More of a pain in the ass than 2016


She honestly thought I fell in the tub
quirkytizzy: (Default)
[personal profile] quirkytizzy
This is an issue that while I try to keep quiet, has come up frequently in the last year. As of late, it's been spurned by Jesse's and I's binging on the show Supernatural.

It can be difficult to discuss it with Jesse, as his spiritual beliefs are well-structured, complex, and very well defined. My questions and ideas about spirituality are anything but structured, complex, or defined. There are times he will even allude to having experienced spiritual experiences around and/or about me while I've been in dire times, but I always shut him down before he gets into explaining it.

While hospitalized, I have spoken to a few chaplains about it all, but they tend to be Jesus-centric. (It's a Seventh-Day-Adventist hospital). So half of those conversations wind up with me trying to steer the conversation from accepting Jesus as my savior and into something more generic. This is more than mildly frustrating for both the pastors and myself, so I no longer seek them out.

My hardline beliefs are that I do not accept the existence of ghosts, angels, demons, or spirits that would otherwise have any interest in my tiny, tiny little life. But now that I've had a little time to look back and see just how easily any of my sidesteps could have resulted in a bloody, projectile-vomiting death, I am beginning to wonder.

Chance and coincidence, along with a stubborn as fuck willpower, can carry almost any explanation very, very far. But does it carry it over the finish line? How far does the belief in Luck stretch until it smacks into a belief of faith?

What IS faith and does it have to be connected to a structure of beliefs about the spiritual realm? I find Paganism to be just as annoying as strong Christianity. Ditto for Buddhism, general New-Agism, Unitarian beliefs, and anything else that requires letting go of any personal reigns in order to trust a Higher Power.

But there is ONE thing I do miss about all of those beliefs, and that is ritual. The closest thing to ritual I've come to in the last several years is wearing a locket of Santa Muerte, and even that, to me, is more about the power of symbolism than an actual belief in a Death God.

But lighting candles, saying specific prayers, having a thing-to-do that follows steps and instructions in order to connect with the Universe as a whole...I do miss that. But how does one create, let alone follow, a ritual when you believe there is nothing there to hear it?

Jesse has said that he saw the spark of faith flare up over the last year. I respond by telling him that I was scared - terrified - and that faith is a pretty common refuge for the frightened. But even in that fear, I didn't come to any conclusions, find any beliefs, that comforted those fears. I just barreled through the fear until I didn't NEED that comfort anymore.

Except maybe I am still scared, because the idea of wanting to believe in something (something small, that doesn't have assloads of minor and sub-beliefs that have to be built as a foundation UNDER the belief itself) is still there.

Don't get me wrong - the show Supernatural is not enough for me to start stockpiling salt and buying silver tableware. This is TV-land we're talking about, and as fun as it is, I recognize that it's fantasy and adapted-folklore.

I just have to wonder if there is a way of not-believing that is somehow a belief. I've never had a paranormal/spiritual experience that wasn't easily explained by mundane things (or else experienced while flying high on mania), and maybe I'm looking for that. Maybe I envy people who seem to experience that all the time.

But I can't just make myself believe things that I don't believe in. This is, however, starting to get in the way of wondering if there, actually, things TO believe in, whatever those things might be.

Maybe, in the end, I just want there to be some kind ghostwriter to this narrative that is my Life. I don't know. I am still vehemently opposed when Jesse insists that he's seen my lack of spiritual beliefs shift, because while I've questioned, that does NOT mean I've settled on an answer.

I guess even having the questions is what's throwing me off.

(no subject)

Sep. 15th, 2017 05:54 am
quirkytizzy: (Default)
[personal profile] quirkytizzy
Despite having taken an extra 25 mgs of my sedative, I am up well before dawn. I'm also about to start my rag, so sleep disturbances are par for the course. God, how I miss the Depo shot. But it turns out heavy-hormonal treatments don't play with lupus, so back to monthly misery it is.

Speaking of lupus: Good news: The stomach problems came and went inside four days. Bad news: Afterwards, the lupus rash showed up again. This means my kidneys are not properly processing my food (thus leaving my body to desperately start shoving stuff through my skin) and I've had too much sun exposure. The renal diet does help, it'll just take a few weeks. And while I loathe sunscreen, it's a hell of a lot better than needing to put on two coats of foundation to cover the red spots.

I've finally figured that an ounce of prevention really is worth a pound of the cure. I'd just gotten so used to feeling better than I forgot that I am, now and forever and ever amen, actually sick.

I've decided I'm going to be less of a dick and start referring to David as Rachel and use female pronouns. Not so much because I think she deserves the courtesy, but because I realized I don't want to be on the wrong side of history when it comes to transgender rights.

Besides, it's a change of, like, two (three maximum) words. If I can't manage that, then I've got some serious laziness issues that go waaaay behind disliking my ex. Now to change my tags that deal with Rachel....

Erggh, does anyone know how to rename tags on the LJ side? All it's giving me is "Add new tags". Attempting to create new tags and then merge them (by pressing "Enter" like it says) just reverts it to the old tag name.

What I WANT to do this morning is go down to the treadmill and take a long walk. What I DON'T want to do is aggravate my cramps into turning from annoying to "let's curl up in the fetal position and pray we can fall asleep through them." I did go down and put a mile and a half on the treadmill. Ha, take THAT, reproductive organs!

As for everything else in the life That is Teressa, it's All Quiet On The Western Front. No wild ups, no wild downs, no intrusive thoughts, no compulsive urges or behaviors. It's slowed down my writing, but seeing as the slowdown is coming from a place of peace, not writer's block, it is infinitely easier to handle.

All in all, things are good. Even with the ultimate suckiness that my period looming, inside feels well. I'm becoming less and less shy about saying things that would previously make me feel like I'm jinxing things. These are all good things.

Wednesday : Basic Instructions

Sep. 13th, 2017 09:27 am
disgruntledgirl: Taken from one of my many yahoo accts, which all mirror part of me. (Default)
[personal profile] disgruntledgirl

This comic is based directly—l mean word-for-word directly—on an actual moronic conversation I had with a friend. He really felt this way about the first Abrams Star Trek movie, for the reason listed here, and admitted to not liking Bond movies either. The guy is still a friend, and is actually proud of this conversation, which I think proves that some people are just born fundamentally wrong. - Scott Meyer.

Well, this is gonna be a solid update.

Filing for Unemployment
Read more... )
I'm still unable to file online and I cannot get through the phone.

Next: Resume
Read more... )

Medical front - or why I keep waffling on the resume.
Read more... )

Now on to the spare cat.
She is traumatized and starved and injured. The only reason I haven't rampaged is because the owner is making the girlfriend get rid of HER cat that was causing the trouble. the cat has a mild infection in one ear. Her scratches are healing quickly and she is eating a lot. She actually doesn't like gooshy, she prefers crunchy. This makes the other cats squat outside the bathroom door - hoping to get to the wonderful smelly stuff that has gone untouched.
She is very lonely but we can't keep petting her and still tend to the house, play on the computer, go to appointments and sleep. She can't handle the sight of another cat or dog. Nyx, who is usually the peace maker that eases new cats into the fold, gets hissed at when she pokes in her head. Nyx immediately pulls her head out and walks away, understanding - it seems.
We still keep her in the bathroom because our new bed is simply too much trouble to get under should she get under there and pee - something the cats in her house were doing. I bring her toys and cat nip and she has a box the other cats use to lay in a lot so she can use to their scents, but it's not enough, really. She's finally recovered and today she is meowing a lot. I go in, scoop her up and cuddle her. To her credit, she doesn't even claw out of delight (milk treading as it's called). So she was really pushed to attack that kid. She doesn't even claw us when we're holding her and Oscar shoves his head into the bathroom - she just hisses.
Her eye is healed, I can't tell which one was injured.

Her new owner has the vet appointment set for the 19th. So hopefully this goes well. The new owner is more than irked at the old owner but they have a history. A deep colorful history.
Read more... )
Yeah. history.

If he gets rid of the dog, I will take that dog but I will also point to the girlfriend and explain "If you get rid of this one next, don't call me."

I'm mildly bitchy with good reason. She mentioned he can pick up the towel "the next time he visits your commune". I'm like 'there are way more people living here than my place' and he's visited only twice this year. I do not care if she reads this, she's acting up like a teen with trust issues. No one should ever restrict someone's access to their friends.

I will totally take his dog because she's like Oscar's girlfriend and she's fine with the cats. The trouble is she's an escape artist. She's also built like a greyhound and gets on the dining room table; but since we're both home all the time, we can teach her house manners.

The dog is ADORABLE )

So there ya have it. Monday we drove out to pick a friend up for work. His car had been impounded and he lives in the ass end of Texas. There is a process of moving that's slow going. You have to sell the house before you can buy a new house to move into. Ass-End means at least an hour or 2 drive (so Uber and Lyft are right out). We left our home at 1, we got back at 6 because of Monday rush traffic. We'll be doing it again on Friday. Thankfully we're just taking him to work those 2 days. He's got his rides laid out and his first paycheck will go towards getting a beater to drive. He can't get his own car back because the impound fee is $1,200 and the monthly payment on the car is $400. Yeah eff that.

During the writing of this, I have called the unemployment line 6 times. "We are unable to handle your call at this time." and then hangs up.
Yeesh.

(no subject)

Sep. 9th, 2017 06:05 pm
becomingkate: (Default)
[personal profile] becomingkate
Another great quote from ratemyprofessors.com: "If you don't pass this class you're a moran"

I had my first History class yesterday, we just went over the syllabus and then he let us go. It seems like it will be a fairly easy class. I am a bit worried about Astronomy on Monday, it's the only class I haven't been to yet this semester, and it just seems like a lot of work. I am also paranoid that I will miss something with my online class.

Tomorrow (oops, I mean Monday) I have English Lit again and I read the three stories that were assigned, and took some notes. I think I got the gist of all of them, and the glory of the internet is that you can look up anything and see if you were right, and get some other perspectives. By "right", I mean not totally off the mark--of course there is no right answer if you interpret something a certain way, but there is the generally accepted answers and then "woah, how did you come to that conclusion?")

I was fairly busy today putting together the slideshow for mom's memorial. Her sister mailed me some photos, and her boyfriend has been e mailing me photo attachments. Plus I am going up to my aunt's house Thursday to look at her pics. I found out they come out pretty well if I just take photos of photos with my phone which makes it easy to just put them in a PowerPoint. I have been a total bum hygenically though, as I did not put on real clothes. It's laundry day, and my favorite pair of jeans ripped across the butt, so I had nothing to wear. I ordered new jeans and did all the laundry, though.
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